Thursday, 30 August 2012

The All New BC Christy Liberals for 2013

The BC Provincial election is in May of 2013. Christy Clark has chosen her big guns for the epic battle. She found some under the back benches. Not ALL the BC Liberals deserted her, there were still some to pick from. (she was seen at KFC buying the Slim Pickens bucket.) So now all new for 2013, Christy presents the election ticket for prosperity in British Columbia!   Trust us.  We`re the BC Liberals!

BC Premiere, Christy Clark

Sure she looks dazed, but .. but a premier`s job is hard. (is that Basil Rathbone behind her) Look to the future, where you won't have to do anything but listen to what we tell you. We're for families and blueberries and PPPs and surrrprissses.

             Ministry of Labor and              Ministry of Wildlife            Ministry of Welfare
                  Beer Distribution                  and Whining                  and Inertia
                 Fred Waddle                      Eunice Shivver              Harvey Closetted

           Ministry of Finance               Ministry of Holograms        Ministry of Intimidation
              and Finagling                      and Mysteriums               and Tax Collection
                   Al Kida                          Havanna Marks                  Dawg Bailiff    

         Ministry of Health                  Ministry of Ethics                 Ministry of Forestry     
          and Hospitals                    and Crime Prevention             and Agonyculture
       Dr. I.O. Stranglelove              Kahuna Wakalulu                Olaf Bigwoody 

So there you have it, our pride and ploy ... er joy. We defy the NDP or the BC Conservatives to come up with a line-up of talent like this. (No that's not him, just looks similar) Elect us again and we`ll get right back to doing the same things to you all over again. 

Our new platform includes; 
- selling Vancouver Island to the Chinese so they won`t have so far to ship their toxic plastics and contaminated foods; 
- selling the water in our rivers in Public Private Partnerships to collect taxes on toilet flushes; 
- selling Rich Coleman to the Alberta Meat Packers Assoc. (testing for mad-cow first, of course); 
- tolling all the bridges everywhere including that lil wooden one by Second Beach in Stanley Park; (don`t laugh, they`ll pay when we let developers build condos on the west side of the park); 
- cutting taxes on the rich and making workers pay their fair share; 
- setting up a Defend ex Liberals fund for those who got caught and were persecuted unfairly; (or might get caught in the future); 
- fixing the HST before 2035;
- forgetting BC Rail once and for all; 
- making BC a have-not province for a sixth time, (the NDP only managed it once, we've done it five times!); 
- setting up a Junior Ministry advisory on Atlantic fish farm salmon and why growth hormones and coloring are good for you; 
- writing a new melody to the Fast Ferries chant; 
- yes, we`ll even adjust the minimum wage to $9.25 per hour! 

And remember, we don't do French here so Dix is NOT a ten!

All great reasons to return the BC Christy Party to POWER!

There`s lots more where this came from!

[Paid for by the Desperation Committee to re-elect any Liberal anywhere somehow]


1 comment:

Keep it civil, folks, I know you're angry but try not to swear too much.