Friday, 5 May 2017

Once more with feeling

Commentator:  Blogger Guy:

  -  Here we are at yet another British Columbia election. So lets review what has happened under the present Christy Clark BC Liberal government.

BC Liberal Guy - Hey wait a minute, I can tell you're going to lambast Christy, you always do.

Blogger Guy - No, I'll be unbiased, only talk about what has happened, and give you a chance to respond.

BC Liberal Guy - I'll be watching you.

Blogger Guy - Please do. Let's start by talking about that secret Petronas deal in the North, which might be tied to the recent 6.2 magnitude earthquake up there.

BC Liberal Guy - Wait wait wait! You have no proof that there even is a North in BC.

Blogger Guy - Just listen a moment. Petronas built 16 unauthorized dams up there to give them more water for fracking. It is already proved that fracking causes earthquakes. Would you accept that?

BC Liberal Guy - I would have to consult with Bill Bennett, he's our Liberal MLA and Energy Minister who would have control of it.

Blogger Guy - He is not running again.

BC Liberal Guy - Really?

Blogger Guy - Some say because he was getting afraid of being caught doing something funny up there.

BC Liberal Guy - Hey, remember those fast ferries. Ho ho, what a disaster that was. Don't forget that was NDP!

Blogger Guy - Nice segue. Well those NDP ferries were built in BC and British Columbia workers got paid. Christy went to Germany and Poland for every one since, sending millions of dollars to foreign shipyard builders instead of supporting local BC workers.

BC Liberal Guy - We Liberals are going strong for jobs in BC. Why I'll have you know there are 4.6 million people in BC and Christy has created over 6 million jobs here.

Blogger Guy - Yes, I see math isn't your forté.  Does that include those mining workers imported from China who said BC Miners didn't know how to dig a mine? And no one knew if they were even getting a dollar a day because they were paid somewhere in China?

BC Liberal Guy - Them fast ferries couldn't make it to China.

Blogger Guy - Any thoughts about the Green Party?

BC Liberal Guy - That's why they're just green with envy.

Blogger Guy - I notice that when Christy is questioned about anything, she starts out by saying, 'That's why we are doing ...' and then goes on to some other subject?

BC Liberal Guy - Brilliant isn't it? Makes her look like she really is doing something.

Blogger Guy - What about that Mount Polley disaster that destroyed Quesnel Lake.

BC Liberal Guy - Hey hey, come on, that lake is still there.

Blogger Guy - And the BC Liberals, after getting nice donations from the company, have recently allowed the mine to dump toxic waste into the lake. Anything to say about that?

BC Liberal Guy - Those people there are tough. That's why we are helping them. If the Monsanto guy can drink Round-Up and not die, those folks can drink BC fresh lake water.

Blogger Guy - He has not been seen since, you know. Some people say that Christy Clark is trying to allow BC Hydro to be bought by private foreigners because she ....

BC Liberal Guy - That's why she is fighting to keep BC Hydro doing hydro stuff and water and ... you know.

Blogger Guy - We have been told that the Private P3 Power Projects that Gordan Campbell handed out to friends, is now costing the BC taxpayer millions, because of agreements he signed that pay them higher than BC Hydro charges and that BC Hydro is having to borrow millions to pay these privateers.

BC Liberal Guy - Pshaw. We're not Gordon Campbell.

Blogger Guy - Any response to Christy taking money from ICBC which was because people were driving more safely and created a surplus that many believe should have been returned to drivers as a lowering of insurance?

BC Liberal Guy - Hey, that's why she balanced her budget with that money.

Blogger Guy - And now our rates are going UP instead of down?

BC Liberal Guy - Onward and upward.

Blogger Guy - Really. Hmm, We had Laura Miller in our Liberal government before. Then she went to Ontario, and did whatever and got herself charged criminally in that Province with Breach of Trust and Mischief, and yet Christy hired her even knowing these facts? And Rich Coleman said if criminal deeds are done in another province it doesn't count? Are you okay with hiring (alleged) criminals?

BC Liberal Guy - Alleged is the second most used word in the BC Liberals' lexicon. And that's why we are going to have more words in classrooms this year. We're for the children!

Blogger Guy - Lots of people are wondering how she got a 12 million dollar war chest and they're calling it pay-to-play.from foreign investors.

BC Liberal Guy - Alleged. You see how we use it?

Blogger Guy - Really. Do you mind that people use the phrase Yoga Gate? Referring to the Burrard Bridge fitness fiasco?

BC Liberal Guy - No problem and you just clued into our next plan too, Lions Gate Yoga Day! I have been pushing for this one, and it'll be seen everywhere. Full TV coverage. On the center span of the Lions Gate Bridge on a Monday morning in September will be a combined production for fitness for all, AND a new Bollywood production and they're only charging us 20 million! Sit-ups in your sari.

Blogger Guy - Full coverage for sure, you'll have CNN just to cover the traffic by satellite!
I need a break. Here is a PSA for voting on May 9th -

We're Greener       -       We're Oranger       -       We're Blue - er

Blogger Guy - Back. So Mr. BC Liberal Guy. Anything to say about Christy selling Nestle our water for $2.25 for a MILLION liters, even after the CEO of Nestles said we need to privatize BC Water and it wasn't a human right?

BC Liberal - So we've got 225 million liters what's the big deal?

Blogger Guy - Math again, huh? Okay, I was going to review how Christy could have an LNG dollar surplus when there is NO LNG operating anywhere to bring in any dollars.

BC Liberal Guy - Well that's why she got those dollars from other parts of her government. She is the boss of it all, you know. That's how we balance the budget.

Blogger Guy - I'm not sure we are getting anywhere. Dare I mention the Health Care firings? Or the 6 million dollar Basi-Virk scandal? Or teenage deaths while in Ministry Care. Or Christy's million dollar photo-op 24/7 photographer. Or Rich Coleman giving his brother 12 millions .. or Americans paying somebody to be able to shoot our grizzly bears ....

BC Liberal Guy - Fast Ferries, fast ferries.

Blogger Guy - ... Or the triple deletion of emails to avoid any paper trail. Something that Laura Miller (allegedly) did in Ontario too. Sort of like Christy is taking her cue from Hillary Clinton.

BC Liberal Guy - Hey hey now, Christy is way ahead of Clinton with that kinda stuff.

Blogger Guy - Is that why you only meet at night on park benches to determine Liberal policy?

BC Liberal Guy - We love starry nights and the outdoors.

Blogger Guy - What do you say to the rumor that Clark is even now under RCMP investigation?

BC Liberal Guy - That's why we're family with the Mounties. Brothers in law from the BC Rail thingy.

Blogger Guy - What would you say to claims that there is widespread corruption in the BC Liberal Party?

BC Liberal Guy - Fast Ferries fast ferries.

Blogger Guy - That has become a Liberal chant, hasn't it?

BC Liberal Guy - I chant say. Haha, that was a joke, we're fun people.

Blogger Guy - And that concludes our brief review of the Christy Clark Government's performance over the last few years. We must thank the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Huffington Post and the Toronto Globe and Mail for information about the BC wild west which the Vancouver Sun and Province have no interest in.        

BC Liberal Guy - We have them guys in our pocket. Er .. I mean ... That's why we are helping people get um .... you know ... news.

Blogger Guy - Sure. We all get it, BC Liberal Guy, anything else you'd like to say to the voting public?

BC Liberal Guy - Yes, if you are a BC Liberal Christy Clark supporter, vote on May 9th. If NDP or Green you go to your polls on May 10th.

Blogger Guy - Good Grief.